Continuation # 3 of Chapter 2

I followed him away from the table and up the stairs. There was a loft area with a TV mounted on the wall and doorways to what looked like 3 bedrooms. Evan's room was the second door on the left, across from what must've been Genevieve's room from the quick glance I took.

There was something about Evan's house that was peculiarly clean and I couldn't fathom living in a home like that. I mean, my house was never dirty, so to speak, but everything in Evan's house looked like it had been cleaned that day. Even their rooms were clean!

Evan had a small room with a big bed. He had a dark blue bedspread and what I would classify as not enough pillows. He had a desk in the corner with a laptop on it. He was sitting on his bed with his book wide open to the chapter.

He looked at me gratefully when I walked into the room. "So, I was really having problems with section 2."

I drew diagrams, explained, and re-explained, and finally I think he got it. I expected this to be some joke studying session where he invited me over to 'study' and we ended up cuddling and watching a movie. I was horribly disappointed.

I excused myself for a minute to go to the bathroom. Out in the hallway when I was walking back to his room, Genevieve found me.

"Hey girl."

"Hey...?" I didn't really know anything about her, or what to say.

"Not trying to butt in, but just don't get involved."

"What do you mean?" I was confused and almost offended. What was she talking about, and why was it her business?

"Just don't get...attached. You're new out here, don't want you to get eaten alive." Oh, it was sincerity she was going for.

"Evan said something along the same lines. 'The kids out here can be brutal' or something like that."

"Yeah, he would know." She sighed, pausing for time. "Call me if you ever need a girl out here to have your back."

I was taken aback. I didn't expect my first friendship in Illinois to come from my crush's twin sister. "Thanks," I said lamely, wishing I knew what else to say.

I walked back into Evan's room, pausing at the threshold to see him try to sneak his phone back into his pocket. I don't know why he felt like he had to hide something.

"Not trying to embarrass you or anything, but damn, girl," he laughed as he joked, and that freaking smile came out again.

"Yeah, I ran into Genevieve in the hallway." I tried to say it nonchalantly, as though there was no reason to question the conversation we had.

"Oh, so I guess she just wanted to bother you about damn near everything ever."

"...No. She just wanted to say hi and if I ever need a girl to talk to, to call her," I said defensively. "Is that such a big deal?"

He laughed. "Nev has got to be about the least girlie girl I know.


this is where i leave off

when i pulled up to his house, i parked in the street in front of the mailbox; i never park in someone's driveway unless i feel extremely welcomed. this was the first time i had ever gone inside the Adams' house and I really didn't feel up to making a rude impression. not that i understand how parking in someone's driveway would lead to a bad impression. However, I digress.

I stepped up to the front door and rang the doorbell. My heart raced a bit as I was curious as to who would answer and what to say. What if his dad's name was evan, and then I sounded like a dufus. This is the same way i feel when i call people's home phone numbers.

A brunette girl of about seventeen answered the door quickly. She opened it all the way, as if she felt no threat from a visitor and was sincerely welcoming. This must've been Genevieve.

"Ev! Your study-buddy is here!" She yelled to the back of the house. I saw Evan walk around from what must have been the kitchen and come towards the door. As he came forward, Genevieve let me in. I stood sheepishly in the foyer as I waited for him to take charge.

"Claire, this is my sister Genevieve. Nevi, this is Claire."
We exchanged pleasantries awkwardly and I followed them toward the kitchen where a dinner table set for six was filling up with food. Evan took a seat across from Genevieve and I took the seat next to him, across from a younger boy who I assumed was his brother Trevor.

Evan put his napkin on his lap as he started addressing the woman who was bringing a plate of cheese, lettuce, avocado, and tomatoes to the table. "Mom, this is Claire. She just moved here from Massachusetts and she's in one of my classes."

"Oh, hi darling. You do like steak tacos, right? Evan was very short notice in telling me we were having a guest; I would have made something else!" She was a tall, thin brunette woman who looked to be in her early 40s. She had a very white smile she didn't move much when she talked. "Sorry, I'm Karen by the way." She motioned as if to show she would offer a handshake but she couldn't right now.

A man who looked slightly older with much less hair was sitting to Evan's left at the head of the table. He was eating corn chips and guacamole while he waited for the rest of the food to be served. He had rough hands with dirty fingernails. With a look up and down I assumed he was a mechanic.

"So why Illinois from Massachusetts?" he asked before popping a chip in his mouth.

"My parents got divorced and my mom wanted a change of scenery. My dad and my brother still live in the house out there so it's not so bad," I said with a shaky voice. I never liked the whole meet-the-parents feel, and this was a whole meet-the-whole-freaking-family ordeal.

"Do you like it out here?" asked Karen as she took the seat next to me.

"Yeah. I mean, I miss my friends back home, but I've gotten closer with my mom since we've moved. I can't wait to see Chicago though. I'm so used to Boston." I kindof wanted the chitchat to stop now. There were tacos to be consumed in front of me and i really wasn't interested in the conversation.

However, Karen was one of those moms that believed that dinner time was a time to talk about your day and not fill up with food. My family never had these dinnertime rituals where we all met and talked. Usually we just ordered Chinese food and you ate when you ate and if you didn't get any, oh well.

"Oh. And what classes did you say you had with Evan?" She was incredible at eye-contact. It blew my mind.

I swallowed the bite of taco in my mouth. "We have pre-calculus together. Nothing else though, really."

"Oh, and do you have any classes with Nevie? I know Trevor is too young."

At this point, Genevieve cut in for me. "No, I told you this earlier, mom." I was grateful for her interruption to continue eating.

Evan and I ate in silence while Trevor talked about the classes he was taking next year.

When dinner was finished, Evan loaded our plates into the dishwasher and I felt ridiculous sitting at their table without him. I was waiting for them to ask some crazy questions but no one really said anything. Karen told Trevor to do the dishes and went outside to smoke a cigarette. Evan's dad sat at the table quietly watching the TV across the kitchen.

Evan motioned for me to follow him, and I realized that Genevieve had already left the kitchen.



This is what you get for now. Glad to pick this up.

cause i never knew a home

until i found your hands, and when im withered, you come to me, you're my best friend.


giddy, stones in my throat when i laugh.
sometimes i wonder if i'm falling too fast for you.
sometimes i wonder if i'm falling at all.
if this desire for someone to be close to
someone to sleep next to
is leading me towards believing i feel way stronger about you than i really do

why must i nitpick,
examine the flaws instead of the positives.
why am i looking at things this way.
yet, this is my first night in days without you.
and i'd much rather be laying with you,
even though this house is cold and comfortable,
i'd rather be sweating without air-conditioning.
i'd rather be waiting for you to come to bed at 4 in the morning.
even though you're blazed as fuck.

what the fuck am i going towards.


(<3 stop making my heart skip beats.)

someone.

buy me a new keyboard.
because the keyboard on my hp is impossible for me to type accurately on. therefore i cannot convince myself to start writing again.

but i keep reading back and i'm super pumped to finish this story.

(i don't know how it gets better than this.)

in a storm in my best dress, fearless.

it was wednesday and i was running late, again. this time i pretty much decided that i didn't care how late i was, skipped european history altogether, and walked into my second period class, earth science, with a cup of coffee and hair that looked like some birds had just left to find food. i checked the clock. sixty-eight more minutes until my precalculus class. which also meant sixty-eight more minutes until my precalculus quiz. i pulled out my notebook for pre-calc, and stared over the trigonometric identities. mr. kenthar, the science teacher, eyed me from the front of the room, noticing that my eyes were glazed over as i moved my mouth, mumbling 'sin²θ + cos²θ = 1.'

he apparently decided not to interrupt and started talking about climate, and i continued to ignore his lecture. when the bell rang i figured i was sufficiently prepared for this upcoming quiz and gathered my books and my empty coffee cup. i walked briskly to the classroom in the math hallway and noticing evan sitting in his usual desk, facing the dry-erase board at the front of the room, dropped my books loudly on the desk behind him. he jumped and turned around, giving me a dirty look with a crooked smile that gave him away.

right then and there i wanted to ask him about the brunette girl in the hallway. i wanted to know the truth. i took a deep breath, swallowed, and sat down without saying a word.

he broke the silence. 'did you study?'

'more than enough, i'm sure. trig identities have always been my one true love.'

'well, that's a new sexual orientation then, i'm sure. and kindof disgusting.'

'you mean you don't think trig identities are sexy? craaazy.'

he laughed and mr. moore walked into the room. i put all my books under my desk and braced myself. i actually brought a pen this time, too. hopefully mr. moore wasn't one of those teachers that required that you use pencils on math tests.

sure enough, he wasn't.

i got up and turned in my quiz to mr. moore, and realized that i was the first person to do so. he pointed to the board where he had apparently written 'test on chapter 7 friday. formula sheet, one sided, handwritten.' i nodded in understanding and left the room. i waited up against the orange lockers as i watched many students leave the classroom. after what seemed like thirty minutes, evan walked out, his backpack on one shoulder and a look on his face that said he wanted to set the quiz on fire.

'how do you think you did?' i asked, without requiring an answer.

he groaned, making a sound that i would imagine one to make when they were waking up with the flu.

'fair enough. are you going to be ready for that test on friday?'

'there's a test on friday?!' he said, jumping in front of me and turning to face me. his face said that he was praying for me to say it was all a joke.

'yeah. you didn't see the board?'

he took off running back down the hallway, broke into the classroom, and came back about a minute later.

'damnit. i hate math tests.'

'maybe you should study for it, kid.'

'would you help me, future mrs. trig identity.'

'sure. when?'

'tonight? i have a da...dinner i have to go to with my family tomorrow.' right then and there, i cringed. he almost said date. i heard it. he cut himself off, and i wanted to call him out on it again. what was he playing at, hiding this from me.

'yeah, sure.' i said, trying not to give away jealousy in my voice.

'cool. have you met my sister yet?'

'nope.. you have a sister?'

'yeah, twin. genevieve. i'm surprised she's not in any of your classes.'

'nope, haven't seen a genevieve. do you have any other siblings?'

'yeah, a younger brother. trevor. he's a freshman.'

'haven't seen him either.'

'yeah, you'll probably meet him tonight too, unfortunately.'

i laughed at his last word, and started heading towards the doors again.

'shit, you're done early. well, are you like a vegetarian or anything? just so i can let my mom know for dinner.'

i laughed deeply. 'you've got to be kidding me.'

'well, you got cheese quesadillas at t-bell, so you never know.'

'oh, no. i just don't like their chicken. i love meat. steak has got to be my favourite food.'

'good, i think we're having steak tacos for dinner.'

'awesome. don't you have to go to class?' i asked as he followed me outside. the wind was biting but the sun was out, so i didn't really know how to feel about the weather.

'why would i do that?'

i gave him a look that only a mother could possess. he sighed and pulled his backpack over both shoulders.

'okay, MOM,' he yelled through the wind as he made his way back into the school.

'and zip up your sweatshirt!' i laughed to myself .

...

i will finish this after work and my history paper, probably tomorrow after finals.

come join the youth and beauty brigade.

take a deep breath. this is only the beginning.

i opened the door, steadying my coffee with one hand, almost dropping my notebook with the other. i don't know how i expected today to start any differently than any other day had.

maybe it was the new state, new life kindof idea.

my name is claire and today is my first day in illinois. well, technically speaking, today is my third day in illinois.

today is my first day going to school in illinois. and apparently, everyone is different here.

it's march of my senior year, and my mother couldn't have picked a worse time to move.

my teacher scowles at me as i sit down in her class with my coffee and my notebook. i drag my backpack over, loudly searching for a pen, even though the bell has apparently rang 4 minutes ago. i pull one out, and mutter 'motherfucker' under my breath as i realize that this pen is out of ink when i try to draw swirls on my notebook paper. i stab at the paper a few times until mrs. clay clears her throat.

at this point i look up, and in any movie made in America you would expect her to introduce me as such and such from wherever and 'please help her find her way around as she gets to know it here.'

what really happens:

"Claire Samuels?"

"Mmmyes?" i answer, swallowing my drink of coffee quickly, scalding my throat.

"You will need to read and take notes on chapters 12-17 if you plan to pass this semester. See me after class for further details. Alright, we have two PowerPoints to go through, and a quiz next class."

I sighed and pulled out my European history book. If only my mother had never decided to leave Massachusetts.

after class, mrs. clay informed me that i had two quizzes to make up as an essential part of the grade. i said okay and moved on, apparently four minutes late to my next class too.

The next class followed in the same regard. Useless, broken pen. No coffee though. I had one more class to get through and I was home free. Apparently silly Illinois schools follow silly block schedules and Claire only has three classes today, and two tomorrow.

In my third class, pre-calculus, I sat in the back row. I put my feet in the book rack of the person in front of me, who was apparently Evan Adams, who was apparently supposed to be the funny kid in class that thought his hair was too good for hairbrushes, who was apparently misled to believe that i'd have an extra pen to lend him. hell, I didn't have one for myself.

'hey, would you happen to have an extra...' he started to say as he motioned for a writing utensil.

i cut him off with a shake of my head, laughing.

'i haven't had one all day. this one's broken.'

'that sucks... well, i'm evan.'

he turned awkwardly to offer a handshake. i took it with a tight grip and shook.

'claire. if you find a pen, and happen to find two, let me know.'

'claire... you're the new girl mrs. clay didn't introduce this morning.' he said, almost creepily. i guess in small towns, news travels fast.

'yeahh. i don't think she likes coffee in her classroom.'

'no, she really hates food and stuff in her room.'

'without coffee, she'd really hate me in her classroom.'

he laughed, and for the first time i noticed his smile.

--

at this time, i'd like to break in and say this is probably just another cheesy love story about some high school girl who falls in love with some guy and then ohnoes he's a vampire and before you know it they're doing in the forest. but no, there are no forests in small towns in illinois. just cornfields.

--

he had a smile that was genuine and earnest. his scruffy face had a bit more than a 5 o'clock shadow but not a beard, and his dimples were exactly in the right spot. i felt my heart skip and went back to trying to make my pen work.

'well, if you need anything around here, just ask. some of these kids can be brutal; don't let them get to you.'

'i'll probably take you up on that offer. thanks.'

evan turned around as mr. moore started writing trigonometric identites on the board. damn, i wish i had a pen.

when class finished, i gathered my books and turned quickly to leave.

evan called behind me, 'hey, claire.'

i turned after i had walked through the door into the crowded hallway. i waited for him by the lockers as he came out with his books in hand. 'i managed to take notes in that class, if you want them.'

'no thanks, i think notes written in blood might just be a biohazard.'

'no, no, no. i got a pen.'

'i figured; it was a joke.'

'so what do you have after this?' he seemed to be struggling to maintain a conversation. he followed me as i turned the hallway away from the classrooms and towards the main exit.

'nothing. i'm going home.'

'oh, you only have three classes today?'

'it would seem so, wouldn't it? as ditching a class on my first day, however tempting it would have been earlier, might not be the best of ideas.'

'well, aren't you a smartass?' he laughed again.

'howabout you? what do you have next?'

'American Government.' he made a sour face. 'graduation requirement.'

'then shouldn't you get going?' i asked, noticing that i was at the doors now, and he looked fully prepared to follow me.

'i guess. see you later, girl.'

'later, kid.' i said as i opened the door.

he took maybe nine steps and turned around and ran to catch me.

'here are those trig notes!' he said, shoving them into my hands. he turned around and took off running to class.

i walked to my car smiling, wondering if this boy had any friends or if he was just latching on to some unknowing girl. or if this was some teen disney movie plot where he was the sweet one who turns out to be a total player and then i end up crying at my senior prom.

high school is so predictable.

-----

when i get home, my room is still in boxes, i spend the rest of the night copying evan's notes and unpacking. my best friend kay called to ask how 'corntown' was, as we called it before i moved. i told her about mrs. clay, to which she responded how i knew she would ('what a bitch!'), and about evan, to which her response was also predictable ('ooh, is he cute? give him my number').

i laughed. 'kay, you're not just in another state; you're in another time zone, for christ's sake.'

'don't remind me; Larsen has been hell without you.'

i sighed and waited for her newest rant. 'Larsen' was our nickname for my ex-boyfriend from junior year, tim larsen. timothy christopher larsen was the clingiest boy i had ever met, and since we had broken up last April, he had continually sent me text messages about how he needed me and that we were meant to be together and whatnot.

that pretty much settled it for me. my actual first day in illinois, i got a new cell phone number. and a new rule: no more tims.

'he keeps finding ways to ask me for your new number. today, he told me that he had a shirt of yours that he wanted to send back, and he needed your new address.'

'are you kidding me? what did you tell him?'

'i told him that if you hadn't seen it in a year, you probably didn't need it and that you think he should sleep with it every night.'

'you didn't...' i said, awestruck and afraid.

i could hear she was smiling, but she continued. 'yeah, he said he would, but it doesnt smell like you anymore.'

'what a fucking creep,' i said, plopping crosslegged onto my mattress on the floor. i stared at my white bedrooms walls, each wall with a grey paint sample on it, and a two dark shades of purple. we were to paint tomorrow.

she burst out laughing, and from the sounds of it, apparently dropped her phone. 'sorry. did i have you going for it at all?'

'not a chance, kay.'

'damn. i tried.'

'but no, really. what did he say?'

'he really told me he had to send you some stuff. i really did tell him to keep it. he seemed kindof heartbroken. maybe you should call him.' she said, faking sincerity.

'maybe he should grow up,' i sighed, and i heard the doorbell ring. 'alright, apparently pizza's here. i'll hit you up later, girl.'

'k, girlie. don't forget to call, and i am so crashing in the cornfields this summer.'

'totally down, and Mama Samuels is down too I'm sure.'

'alright, cool.'

i hung up the phone and ran down the stairs to get some pizza.

at the dinner table, mom asked me about school. she told me that my brother matt called today from dad's house. he asked how it was in illinois and if we had been to chicago yet, and when we went, could we would send him a postcard.

it was wierd to hear that my brother had called from seven-hundred miles away. a month ago, he and dad would have been sitting at dinner with us, and i'd still be in massachusetts. oh well, no use dwelling in the past. i sighed and pulled my pepperoni from the top of my pizza. i could feel that my mother read my thoughts and decided it would be best if we spent the rest of dinner in silence.

--

the next morning, i woke up late and jumped out of my bed, severely confused and forgetting that my mattress was on the floor and not three feet higher. i threw my fading red hair back into a ponytail, grabbed a plain black shirt from a box, and found socks that matched close enough in another. yesterday's jeans were clean enough. it's not like i went through the previous 3+ years of high school any other way...

my first class was sociology, and i secretly screamed at myself in my head for not giving myself enough time to get coffee in the morning. i looked around the room and realized that i knew no one. which wasn't surprising, since evan was the only person i had met so far.

i sat in the back corner of the room on the left side. the desk to my right was empty so far, and the girl in front of me seemed to be the organized type who would lend me notes. i was always planning ahead...

i had realized to grab a pen from my car right before i walked in, and i was grateful, since every other student in the class had already been taking notes when i walked in.

again though, the teacher never introduced me. it was as if they wanted me to drown in this. i left the class silently when the bell rang, walking out into the hall of people i didn't know, and honestly, people i probably wouldn't ever know.

i walked into my english class, and realized my heart was skipping as i looked around the room for that familiar face and unkempt hair. i realized how goofy i must have looked stalling at the entrance to the classroom, and walked to an empty seat in the middle of the room. i pulled out my notebook and began drawing on the last page, my back facing the aisle as i held up my head with my left hand. i heard an annoyed voice said 'excuse me' in a manner that made me think there was no politeness implied whatsoever. i turned and saw a tall girl, maybe 6'1" standing directly next to my desk.

'yeah?'

'you're in my desk.'

'shit, sorry,' and i turned back to my drawing.

'that means you need to move.' i looked around to the four other empty desks in the room. the girl next to me with the fake tan was giving the tall girl a look that said, 'can you believe this bitch?' and the four other desks were either front-row, center, or next to creepy looking guys that looked like they were ready to prey on whatever sat there. clearly this girl was too good for either.

'oh, i wasn't aware.' and i turned my back to her again.

'girl, i think there are a lot of things in illinois you aren't aware of.'

'oh, like that in illinois, apparently all the ugly girls think they get to run the school?'

although there was no physical violence involved, the tall girl looked like she had been slapped.

'excuse me?!'

i sighed. 'how can i put this so you would understand?....' i paused, pretending to think. a few kids looked at me and smiled, apparently sick of them, and i was cut off.

'who the fuck do you think you are? get the fuck out of my desk.' however, i braced myself for it; she pushed me, and my back hit the back support rail for the desk roughly.

'shit, girl, if you want to touch me, you should ask me on a date first.'

'fuck you, cunt,' she said, and turned with her purse to take the seat at the front row, apparently sick of fighting.

however, her surrender came too late. the teacher, a plump woman in her late 40's walked in the room to hear the last three words out of the tall girl's mouth.

'miss collins! that type of language is unacceptable in my classroom. i expect to see you after class.'

'but ms. harper!' the tall girl squealed.

'i expect no excuses, miss collins. alright, i apologize if you are sick of this by now, but class, if you could just turn your head for a quick second and welcome our new student Claire Samuels from Massachusetts.' i was shocked. for two reasons, honestly. first, this was the first time i had been introduced to a class by a teacher, which made it funny that ms. harper apologized for it at all. and secondly, when ms. harper introduced me, a few of the students started clapping.

'oh, oh, good. so you have met her already,' ms. harper chimed, unaware to the circumstances of my applause.

the rest of class continued on with no distractions and interruptions, and i was glad to see that miss collins, whos name, i figured out, was amanda, did stay after class, and was issued a three page paper on respecting women.

when i walked out of the classroom, i took the long way to get to my car. partially because i kept taking wrong turns, partially because i was looking for a boy with disheveled hair and a cute smile. and i found him. i definitely found him. he was kissing some brunette girl against a locker. i turned into the next classroom and pretended to check my schedule. i mumbled 'shit, wrong classroom' under my breath, trying not to look too conspicuous to the students already prepared for class. when i walked out, i looked quickly and evan was gone, the brunette still at her locker, apparently struggling to reach the top book.

i turned the other way and walked the long way around again, this time taking no wrong turns, just painstakingly avoiding a boy with disheveled hair and a cute smile. how could i be so stupid two days in? and how could i be so hurt over something so trivial.

i sighed and pushed the door open to the outside, walking to my car with my head down. i saw evan in the courtyard of the entrances reading a book. i started my car, a 20o7 jeep liberty, and swallowed my pride.

i pulled up next to the curb and rolled my windows down. it was march in illinois, which apparently meant the temperature was about 64 and it was always about to rain.

'did you need a ride?' i said loudly, after several seconds of urging myself to speak up.

'nah, i'll be okay. thanks though.'

'alright. are you sure?' i asked, almost hoping he would change his mind.

ok, ok. really hoping he would change his mind.

'is it out of your way?'

'i don't know where anything is around here, so i'll call it a learning experience.'

he laughed again, and his smile made my breath catch in my throat. why am i such a girl about this kind of stuff?

'alright, i'll teach you a few things,' he said as he got up, shoving his book into his backpack.

'likewise...' i mumbled seductively, before he got close enough to hear me.

he opened the door to my jeep and i turned down the music; not everyone likes the decemberists.

'aright, where do you live?' we asked, almost in unison. i laughed instinctively, as most people do when something silly like that happens.

he and i stopped to grab taco bell; for me, two cheese quesadillas, no spicy sauce. for him, two gorditas and a baja blast.

'oh shit, i have your notes!' i said, without realizing i had a mouthful of cheese and tortillas.

'it's ok, it's ok. just give them to me tomorrow.'

'alright,' i said, after i had swallowed. he was so easy not to be embarrased around.

'so what brings your family to illinois?'

'my mom wanted to go somewhere new; my parents got divorced a while ago. we'd all been living in the same house until mom could make up her mind as to where to go, and then we closed on the house and now i'm in illinois.'

'that sucks so much; i'm sorry,' he said, looking down at his food as though making eye-contact was unwelcomed. when he did look up, i happened to actually make eye-contact with him for the first time. he had deep blue eyes that blended into different colors. they were gorgeous.

'eh, it's alright. i'm going to UMass in the fall; i've already been accepted so i really don't even care about the rest of this semester. so i really only have 5 more months of illinois.'

'well, that's good,' he said although he wasn't convincing. his smile dropped a step as he asked, 'so you're leaving right after the summer?'

'i think i'm going to go out and live with my best friend kay in the beginning of august. the gregorys have always welcomed me to their home, or i could just stay with my dad right before the semester starts.'

'well, that sounds pretty cool.' evan sounded like he was out of questions he wanted answers to. so i asked a few of my own.

'yeah... so....' i paused, wondering how wierd i would sound. 'if you could be an animal, what would you be?'

'hm... shit... that's a tough one.' evan said, either in mock or serious thought; i couldn't tell which. 'a grizzly bear.'

i laughed immediately. 'why?'

'because i'm either sleeping or mauling shit. what a perfect life.'

'fair enough, fair enough.'

'howabout you?'

'a mouse.'

'what? why would you want to be something that people trap and kill everyday.'

'no,no,no. so i could sleep in the matchboxes like in the cartoons.'

that was always one of those questions i asked so i could answer it. tom & jerry was always my favourite cartoon as a kid and this definitely reflected it.

'that's adorable. tom & jerry was awesome.'

'i can't believe you caught the reference.'

'of course, it's only the best thing that's happened in our childhoods.'

we laughed and finished our lunch in the same lighthearted manner. afterwards, he led me through some of the other subdivisions until he told me to stop at a certain house. 'alright, claire. totally an awesome day. i'll see you in class tomorrow.'

'for sure. see you tomorrow.'

i smiled as he got out of my car and walked into his house. as i drove home, i couldn't believe how ridiculously spontaneous illinois was turning out to be.

and it had only been four days. i found myself counting hours until my precalculus class the next day.

--

end of chapter 1.

dear friends, please comment and let me know what you honestly think.

i know the capitalization is definitely off and the punctuation is fucked, but let me know storywise.

dear god, please give me the effort and energy to continue writing this. i had a ton of fun writing it.

you should never be embarrassed by your trouble with living

'cause it's the ones with the sorest throats who have done the most singing.

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the first time i met her, we were six years old and climbing trees. she wasn't a tomboy, not by any means, but she liked to sit up on the branches.

she was convinced that if she sat still enough on the branches, the birds would come to her.

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i was twenty two years old that summer when she walked into the dingy hot dog shop i worked at. my shirt had mustard stains on it and it was wrinkled from days of wear without wash. i didn't care. he hair was short and brunette with streaks of red glinting in the sunlight. she had one tooth that stood in front of the others when she smiled, the middle one on the left.

i hadn't seen her in years; her family had moved to massachusetts the summer we turned fifteen. she had sent a few letters, i had sent a few back, but by the time the winter had ended, we had lost contact altogether.


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as usual, i have lost interest in this.

goddamn.