I like to go back and listen to music i was really into like four years ago. It puts me in that stupid, immature mindset where work was something i did to make a disposable income, and your grades weren't going to determine anything about your career. Where my idea of mischief was sneaking out and walking down the block to smoke a cigarette, because my parents hadn't realized i smoked yet.
i think this is the same reason that i am drawn to music from the '90s. i like to listen to old tracy chapman songs, and the bodeans, just so i can remember all those stupid nights when i was seven and we lived down the street from the awesome pizza place with the high ceilings. they had goofy floor levels and the upstairs tables were always way cooler. it was like ten feet away from the park, so when we would go when it was busy, i would just go to the park. i didn't get dizzy when you spun the tire swing as fast as you could, but i would now. and i remember rollerblading down that street, teaching my mom how. she had a helmet, and elbowpads and kneepads. i don't think i wore those anymore. but i remember watching out for gravel in the road to get caught in our tires.
i remember when we were moving out of that house. a house i spent four years living in and never saw the basement. from what rich said, it was perpetually flooded. we cleaned out the garage, and i found baby carriages and dolls, and barbies, and a mysize barbie that every mom bought their little daughters which was a really stupid idea that always ended in your daughter wearing horribly made polyester and other synthetic clothing items that were gaudy as all hell. and the fake barbie hair, at any length longer than three inches, was tangled and disheveled from the second you untwisted the twist ties to get her out of the box.
i remember that house was like three blocks away from a bar. "the station," where mom and rich always went with tommy, rich's best friend. barb worked there. she always had the best things for me on halloween. she was a packers fan, but the king size bags of m&m's made up for this massive flaw.
and i remember, allie kelly was about a foot taller than me in fourth grade. it had to be fourth grade halloween, right before we moved, and we went trick or treating, and she got a king-sized twix bar. rich took it and put it on the ledge above the door, and somehow, this nine-year old girl managed to reach it.
i was furious.
continuing, my room was pink there. with a minnie mouse wallpaper border. and minnie mouse curtains, and a bedspread, and everything on earth. i just remember my closet used to be a pantry, and had like three sections and shelves and was HUGE (and sometimes had mice that ate my clothes.) and when we moved to lansing, i begged grandma for the bedspread that was in her spare bedroom. it was blue and quilted and i was NOT a minnie mouse girl anymore. we kept the comforter and everything else in the basement, as if we would give it to someone down the road, but i think we just threw it away.
i remember when we moved into the house in glenwood. it was grandma shirley's house. the room was yellow with shitty wallpaper before rich painted it pink. the front porch had a nice dining room table in there. i always dreamed of having it when we had a nice house. someone else took it one day though. i'm pretty sure rich was pissed.
we kept the computer on the front porch too. i don't even think the internet was all that common yet. i think i played minesweeper and solitaire. and the 101 dalmatians game. and made stupid things and printed them out.
there was a spare bedroom on the left as soon as you walked in. mom ironed her clothes there. she had a vanity there. and i don't remember what else was in there, because she kept all her shoes in my closet.
i remember the dining room. i remember being told i wasn't allowed to watch tv during dinner, so watching the reflection in the fishtank instead. i remember that grandma shirley NEVER cooked and always went out. i remember that she used plastic bowls instead of real stuff so she wouldn't have to wash it. i think i saw her cook macaroni and cheese. once.
and the bathroom was unfinished. there was a really nice whirlpool tub, and a toilet and a sink. the walls weren't finished. and the floors weren't finished. i fucking hated that bathroom. but for some reason, i have a strange recollection of discovering my love for sephiroth there. don't ask.
and we never had a washer and dryer. we always went to laundromats. which is why it must have been so important to have an upstairs laundry room when we bought this house.
i don't know. i'm just rambling but i don't feel like rambling anymore.
goodnight, blog.
love,
jes.
i think this is the same reason that i am drawn to music from the '90s. i like to listen to old tracy chapman songs, and the bodeans, just so i can remember all those stupid nights when i was seven and we lived down the street from the awesome pizza place with the high ceilings. they had goofy floor levels and the upstairs tables were always way cooler. it was like ten feet away from the park, so when we would go when it was busy, i would just go to the park. i didn't get dizzy when you spun the tire swing as fast as you could, but i would now. and i remember rollerblading down that street, teaching my mom how. she had a helmet, and elbowpads and kneepads. i don't think i wore those anymore. but i remember watching out for gravel in the road to get caught in our tires.
i remember when we were moving out of that house. a house i spent four years living in and never saw the basement. from what rich said, it was perpetually flooded. we cleaned out the garage, and i found baby carriages and dolls, and barbies, and a mysize barbie that every mom bought their little daughters which was a really stupid idea that always ended in your daughter wearing horribly made polyester and other synthetic clothing items that were gaudy as all hell. and the fake barbie hair, at any length longer than three inches, was tangled and disheveled from the second you untwisted the twist ties to get her out of the box.
i remember that house was like three blocks away from a bar. "the station," where mom and rich always went with tommy, rich's best friend. barb worked there. she always had the best things for me on halloween. she was a packers fan, but the king size bags of m&m's made up for this massive flaw.
and i remember, allie kelly was about a foot taller than me in fourth grade. it had to be fourth grade halloween, right before we moved, and we went trick or treating, and she got a king-sized twix bar. rich took it and put it on the ledge above the door, and somehow, this nine-year old girl managed to reach it.
i was furious.
continuing, my room was pink there. with a minnie mouse wallpaper border. and minnie mouse curtains, and a bedspread, and everything on earth. i just remember my closet used to be a pantry, and had like three sections and shelves and was HUGE (and sometimes had mice that ate my clothes.) and when we moved to lansing, i begged grandma for the bedspread that was in her spare bedroom. it was blue and quilted and i was NOT a minnie mouse girl anymore. we kept the comforter and everything else in the basement, as if we would give it to someone down the road, but i think we just threw it away.
i remember when we moved into the house in glenwood. it was grandma shirley's house. the room was yellow with shitty wallpaper before rich painted it pink. the front porch had a nice dining room table in there. i always dreamed of having it when we had a nice house. someone else took it one day though. i'm pretty sure rich was pissed.
we kept the computer on the front porch too. i don't even think the internet was all that common yet. i think i played minesweeper and solitaire. and the 101 dalmatians game. and made stupid things and printed them out.
there was a spare bedroom on the left as soon as you walked in. mom ironed her clothes there. she had a vanity there. and i don't remember what else was in there, because she kept all her shoes in my closet.
i remember the dining room. i remember being told i wasn't allowed to watch tv during dinner, so watching the reflection in the fishtank instead. i remember that grandma shirley NEVER cooked and always went out. i remember that she used plastic bowls instead of real stuff so she wouldn't have to wash it. i think i saw her cook macaroni and cheese. once.
and the bathroom was unfinished. there was a really nice whirlpool tub, and a toilet and a sink. the walls weren't finished. and the floors weren't finished. i fucking hated that bathroom. but for some reason, i have a strange recollection of discovering my love for sephiroth there. don't ask.
and we never had a washer and dryer. we always went to laundromats. which is why it must have been so important to have an upstairs laundry room when we bought this house.
i don't know. i'm just rambling but i don't feel like rambling anymore.
goodnight, blog.
love,
jes.
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