it was about four days after my twentieth birthday. i was sitting in my room, in the clearing i had left for myself amongst the books, dirty towels and clothes, pop cans, nametags, and anything else that ended up scattered within the belongings of my embarrassingly trashed room.
i had a bright red lamp on a black table with a glass top. underneath the glass top were ticket stubs from assorted concerts that i thought i was cool for going to. i had a picture of me and my mom at my seventh birthday party, or something close to it. she had a smile with a gap in her teeth. it's still there. i always used to look at the gap in her two front teeth and wonder if she put her cigarettes there while she smoked them.
right now, she was somewhere in her room. the bedroom door was open across the hall, and for some reason my bedroom door was open as well, which never happens. the white wall against the bed was flashing different colors and brightnesses with the changes in the television scenes. i kept seeing her walk back, as if she were walking back and forth between her closet and her bathroom. she seemed like someone who was boarding a plane in the morning for a weeklong trip, who had just remembered to start packing. that or she had lost something very important, or was trying to hide something very important.
my grandma was in the room next door to mine. probably playing one of those goofy slot games on pogo.com, that stupid subscription gaming site. we had always joked about winning the jackpots, but i don't think anyone actually ever wins those. grandma and i used to stay up 'til three in the morning playing those stupid games. and the windows xp space cadet pinball. and i would watch dexter's laboratory at her house because we never had cartoon network at mine. i had the goofiest crush on dexter. i can't even explain it.
i looked at the horrible alarm clock on my nightstand. ten twenty-two. that clock is always horrifically wrong. and it glows red, when i much prefer alarm clocks with green led displays. the nightstand was probably the only thing in the room that had been cleaned recently. i had kicked over a can of soda onto it and had to wipe it all off. right now it had two diet pepsi cans, a shitty alarm clock, an atrocious lamp,and a picture of my parents' wedding. i don't know why i always kept that up there, but it just belonged.
ten twenty-five. i feel like i'm droning, but i feel that my descriptive skills are getting better.
------
i had something to write about, but i feel it is too personal. maybe some other time, i just can't think of the words to make it sound not as creepy. i'm glad i'm writing more. the more i read the more i write though. currently reading possible side effects by augusten burroughs. <3 love it.
i had a bright red lamp on a black table with a glass top. underneath the glass top were ticket stubs from assorted concerts that i thought i was cool for going to. i had a picture of me and my mom at my seventh birthday party, or something close to it. she had a smile with a gap in her teeth. it's still there. i always used to look at the gap in her two front teeth and wonder if she put her cigarettes there while she smoked them.
right now, she was somewhere in her room. the bedroom door was open across the hall, and for some reason my bedroom door was open as well, which never happens. the white wall against the bed was flashing different colors and brightnesses with the changes in the television scenes. i kept seeing her walk back, as if she were walking back and forth between her closet and her bathroom. she seemed like someone who was boarding a plane in the morning for a weeklong trip, who had just remembered to start packing. that or she had lost something very important, or was trying to hide something very important.
my grandma was in the room next door to mine. probably playing one of those goofy slot games on pogo.com, that stupid subscription gaming site. we had always joked about winning the jackpots, but i don't think anyone actually ever wins those. grandma and i used to stay up 'til three in the morning playing those stupid games. and the windows xp space cadet pinball. and i would watch dexter's laboratory at her house because we never had cartoon network at mine. i had the goofiest crush on dexter. i can't even explain it.
i looked at the horrible alarm clock on my nightstand. ten twenty-two. that clock is always horrifically wrong. and it glows red, when i much prefer alarm clocks with green led displays. the nightstand was probably the only thing in the room that had been cleaned recently. i had kicked over a can of soda onto it and had to wipe it all off. right now it had two diet pepsi cans, a shitty alarm clock, an atrocious lamp,and a picture of my parents' wedding. i don't know why i always kept that up there, but it just belonged.
ten twenty-five. i feel like i'm droning, but i feel that my descriptive skills are getting better.
------
i had something to write about, but i feel it is too personal. maybe some other time, i just can't think of the words to make it sound not as creepy. i'm glad i'm writing more. the more i read the more i write though. currently reading possible side effects by augusten burroughs. <3 love it.
No comments:
Post a Comment