this, and then a shower.


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the first time i hung out with you, you reminded me of the guys i used to fall for. instantly. i don't remember your birthday, but i know what your eyes look like. i don't remember any of the questions i asked you, and therefore any of the answers you gave me, but i do remember what cigarettes you smoke.

when i put on your hoodie, it was huge and thin. i was swimming in the fabric, surrounded by the smell of whatever you wore and your cigarettes. i could smell it instantly, and for some god forsaken reason it didn't bother me.

bob said you like me; i hope not. emphasis on the guys i used to fall for.

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back to you, again, isn't it. god fucking damnit.

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i remember the way you tasted when i kissed you after a cigarette. you were the only person that never tasted like cigarettes. you always just tasted like you. you never tasted dirty or gross or like you had to brush your teeth. even in the mornings when you'd wake up, you tasted good. i could have kissed you forever. i still have the text message, "i liked kissing you everywhere." i remember the context; it was your reply to "i liked kissing you at the top of the stairs."

goddamn, i could have fallen in love with you. i refuse to let myself believe that i actually already did, but it's possible.

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well this is all just too honest, as i knew it would be. as these things usually are.

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goodbye blog.